Youre Not Here
by DementedKitten13
Summary: a poem i did when i was depressed... this is all mine and i even put it up on poemhunter . com under a diffrent name. i will not tolerate the theft of this in any way shape or form...oh and its rather angsty so you have been warned... enjoy! i rated it T just to be safe since its rather depressing
1. Chapter 1

**AN: this is a poem thingy i did when i was reeeeeeally depressed. lol can ya tell? i put it up on poem hunter .com too with the same title... sorry for spelling and punctuation errors. i never was one to really care about that sorta thing. if ya can read it, then its all good right? well i hope you enjoy my moment of complete angst! have fun then! **

* * *

**I keep the music turned up**

**I leave the kitchen light on**

**I read and write and smile**

**It's pointless**

**Youre no longer here...**

**I've stopped drawing**

**I've stopped dreaming**

**I've stopped talking**

**What's the use?**

**Youre no longer here...**

**I keep the music turned up**

**For if i don't the silence will consume me**

**I keep the kitchen light on**

**Or else i will fear to leave my room 'till dawn arrives**

**I read to bring myself to a happier place**

**I write to try and heal what pain reading cannot numb**

**I smile so Trish won't worry**

**It's pointless**

**Because youre no longer here...**

**You were my world, my life, my light**

**You were always so warm and full of spirit**

**Seeing you on the hospital bed,still as stone**

**It shook me**

**But it never really struck me that you were gone**

**'Till i took your lifeless, ice-cold hand in mine**

**The pain killed something inside of me**

**Every day i wake, looking for you in vain,**

**Something inside me dies a little more**

**I don't understand it**

**I don't like it**

**This isn't me!**

**I don't want to fade!I don't want to be forgotten!**

**Trish is here for me though**

**And that brings me comfort and happieness**

**But who will remember me when she is gone too?**

**I don't understand the world**

**So i hide away from it in this silent, empty house**

**You are no longer here**

**You can no longer help me understand**

**We knew each other so well, we knew what to say**

**I put your ashes upoun the highest shelf**

**I can no longer bear to look at them**

**For if i do, i will surely start screaming**

**I no longer celebrate the holidays**

**Nor my own birthday**

**What's the use?**

**You are not here to make them worthwile**

**I cannot feel much of anything most days now**

**This confuses me greatly**

**If emotions and desires make us human**

**And i am slowly but surely loseing mine**

**What does that make me?**

**Something less than human?**

**A heartless monster?**

**I do not know, and you are not here to tell me**

**Mother, I miss you so**

**Trish and i seem to be the only ones holding on to your memory**

**My siblings and so called family never even calles to pay respects**

**You were right about them**

**But it still hurts to think that they care so little for us**

**Youre no longer here**

**Your death a cruel dagger cutting me to bleed evermore**

**And it has killed everything that kept me sane.**

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**END**

* * *

**so! tell meh what ya think? does it suk, rok, or is it just ok?**


	2. petition to the site managers!

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

Psudocode_Samurai

Rocketman1728

dracohalo117

VFSNAKE

Agato the Venom Host

Jay Frost

SamCrow

Blood Brandy

Dusk666

Hisea Ori

The Dark Graven

BlackRevenant

Lord Orion Salazar Black

Sakusha Saelbu

Horocrux

socras01

Kumo no Makoto

Biskoff

Korraganitar the NightShadow

NightInk

Lazruth

ragnrock kyuubi

SpiritWriterXXX

Ace6151

FleeingReality

Harufu

Exiled crow

Slifer1988

Dee Laynter

Angeldoctor

Final Black Getsuga

ZamielRaizunto

Fenris187

blood enraged

arashiXnoXkami

Masane Amaha's King

Blueexorist

Nero Angelo Sparda

Uzunaru999

DementedKitten13

(i dont really put up stories but i completely agree that what has started to do is completely wrong. i hope they change thier minds soon because some of my favorite stories have excessive violence and gore in it! i really dont want to see them deleted... just put in an MA or AO rateing!) 


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